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Dealing with a hostile shared custody situation

If a divorcing couple in Clarksville has children together, one of the harsh realities that both must deal with is the fact that they will be forced to continue to collaborate in raising their kids. Some may think that the animosity shared between a separated couple could make pursuing shared custody a bad idea. However, research information shared by the America Coalition for Fathers and Children shows that kids benefit from having shared residential custody even when their parents are not on good terms.

One complaint that many divorced parents often share is that their ex-spouses are intentionally hostile towards them, and not willing to not involve the kids in their disagreements. Such parents may feel this justifies bad behavior in their part, yet expert opinions shared by the publication Divorce Magazine offer advice on how to deal with a hostile shared custody situation. Some of the tips offered include:

  •          Separate individual problems from shared ones: Parents not wanting to fight with their exes should look to understand which of their exes’ problems are theirs alone, and then avoid talking with them about such issues.
  •          Be empathetic: As difficult as it may be, one should try to imagine the difficulties his or her ex may be facing, and thus attempt to accommodate him or her in terms of parental duties when possible.
  •          Accepting the inability to control the other: One should not preoccupy his or her time or thoughts with worrying about actions his or her ex engages in that he or she cannot control.

Finally, it is recommended that in order to add more civility into a shared custody scenario, one should attempt to treat his or her ex in the same manner he or she would like to be treated. 

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